


Monster

by Ceara_Einin



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Kylo Ren, Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mentioned Han Solo, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 09:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13761102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceara_Einin/pseuds/Ceara_Einin
Summary: Kylo killed his father, and the scavenger was right - he is a monster.





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why it took me so long to write something for Kylo after 2 years of stanning, but at least now I can say I've done a one-shot. It's emo hours so have some angsty Kylo.

The droid spends an eternity fussing about. Kylo lies on the bed stoically, pulling the sweet caress of darkness from the med droid’s ministrations. He tilts his chin to stare at the ceiling at immediately realizes his mistake.

His face stares back at him from the mirrored panels overhead, split around the wound the scavenger gave him. The droid isn’t concerned with the cauterized face wound, and there is nothing to draw Kylo’s gaze back to his injuries.

He has his father’s eyes.

Kylo squeezes his hands into fists until his nails bite his palms. The droid’s moved on to bacta patches – the sting of healing flesh takes away the sharp agony that has kept his turmoil contained. Something deep in his chest snaps.

With a roar to split the galaxy, Kylo hurls the droid against the wall, its parts clattering to the sterile floor. The bright white lights glare into Kylo’s feverish skin, still tight from its close brush to hypothermia. Kylo lifts the med cart laden with bacta and thin metal tools and throws that toward the ceiling. The tools rain down, cutting his exposed skin as they flee their destroyed home. Han’s face floats before Kylo’s eyes, mocking him with eyes wide in shock and forgiveness he had no business giving. Screaming, Kylo tears everything he sees in two, until the room around him is a smoking mess and his father isn’t hovering before him anymore.

He made a mistake.

Breathing hard, Kylo storms from the medbay, throwing droids that get in his way and choking a stormtrooper in his way. But the crunch of the trooper’s windpipe morphs into the shriek of Kylo’s lightsaber igniting into his father’s chest, and Kylo has to stop and lean against the wall, trembling.

_Will you help me?_

Kylo’s throat tightens until he can’t breathe – a cruel reminder of the torment he visits upon anyone in his way. His legs crumple, his knees hitting the cold durasteel floor as the damaged lights shoot sparks against his battered skin.

_Yes, anything._

His fist pounds the floor, but the pain of bleeding knuckles doesn’t chase away his father like it should. Kylo’s world tints as red as his saber, his father’s eyes staring back at him from the floor.

_Thank you._

His father is dead. Kylo killed him. His conflict should be gone.

_Ben!_

A still-functional med droid latches onto Kylo’s arm and chirps an order. Kylo shouts indistinctly and throws the cursed hunk of metal away as the echoes of the name he denounced torture his mind.

_Come home._

The words sear, as if his father branded them onto his skin.

_We miss you._

Trickery. Pretty words to seduce Kylo back to those who looked at him and saw nothing but a monster.

_You’re a monster._

The scavenger was right. He is a monster.

A pinch breaks the skin of his upper arm, and Kylo willingly falls into the hazy release of the sedatives.

_You’re a monster._

_Yes I am._


End file.
